Tryst with Dentists: Why I hate doctors, nurses and medical as a profession

The roots of the Root Canal Treatment (RCT) in my tooth were laid down back in my college days when on a summer afternoon Dr. M.M. Ahluwalia a popular dentist (Retired from Indian Army) near Kalidas Road in Dehradun, diagnosed that small black stain as a probable cavity in my tooth. He later cleaned that stain and filled that small cavity with huge white shiny silver like material which stayed there for almost 2 years. There was no such pain in my tooth but I was just trying to be extra cautious and careful for my future.

When I first visited his dental clinic, I got immediately impressed by Colonel's straightforwardness plus popularity more than his expertise(which I realized later) when I checked and asked him about his fees/charges of filling one cavity. I was in his clinic I couldn't see any doctor/assistant. That room was just a place flooded with patients waiting for their turns. I found a small window with a glass pane/slider on. From this sacred window without any hesitation I asked my question to a Sardar ji (who was the doctor sitting on his chair). From this same window Sardar ji replied in English, Son the fee is only 250 INRs but had you asked this question after entering inside my room I would have charged you 50 rupees just for asking the fees. I was bowled out by his Yorker, clueless with no words in my mouth. I asked that question in “English” to look smarter but was then out of gas, ended that half-duplex conversation and immediately left that crowded waiting room quickly, by replying OK.
 

While I was on my way to my room, which was just a few hundred meters away I was thinking, he appears to be a very expert dentist ,professional, experienced and so busy , many awards he won in Army Medical Services, as per his clinic's hording which lists them. So no one else but he will fix my tooth’s black hole. I was happy that I had finalized a doctor for my tooth, my first ever major decision away from home.

I reported at Colonel's clinic early next morning, I’m always the earliest early bird. Within next 30 minutes he finished the task, the buzzing sound of his dental drill machine almost killed me, my first ever experience and was so irritating. There was no pain in tooth but keeping my jaws so wide open for 20 minutes was not good, I thought Lt Col. was merciless too. I wondered if he was drilling for an oil well or a coal mine. He finished his job, showed me quickly what he did in that 1sq cm mirror, and said NEXT. I came back to my room with a little feeling about that filling. And some time passed.

Roughly after two and half years, the shiny silver filling came out of my tooth one day, the big cavity was clearly visible, I could sense the edges of cavity and could measure its depth. I was in Noida back then; frightened, I immediately consulted a dentist in Max hospitals. This time it was a lady dentist, with a degree of BDS and MDS. She was polite unlike Colonel, examined my tooth and said; in general your teeth are well in shape, strong and clean except this one with cavity, was surprised. For better picture she used her x-rays and showed me the real picture in her computer screen. The now uncovered pit in my tooth appeared bigger than the shiny filling cover which was covering it till one day back. She added further, the earlier dentist drilled it almost close to the tooth’s side edge/wall which will make it difficult now.

From her assessment I understood that either Colonel digged it unnecessarily too deep or there was a definitely a major problem in my tooth. But I cleared her that my tooth never had any pain or sensitive feeling for hot-cold things, even now. Anyways, she said Root Canal Treatment is the way to go to protect my tooth now. I didn’t know what it was. But she explained me the benefits of this procedure which will save my tooth from further decaying in future. I was worried but can we argue or ask for alternatives to a doctor/dentist in India, still I asked as many questions as I could. While talking I was confused if it was Colonel’s fault who screwed my tooth by unnecessary digging and filling or was being fooled once again now by a smart business woman, who is talking of complete extraction of tooth very soon in case of no RCT. Well I took a very smart decision once again and nodded for RCT.

Within a week’s time, roots of my tooth were removed to end all possible routes of blood supplies and nerves. It was treated, filled with different substances and later given an expensive permanent crown for the rest of its life. Special care was taken in matching the color of this porcelain crown with his future neighbors, which didn’t impress me. I was more worried for its strength and surface instead of color. The clinic presented me a 6500 INR bill. On my way to my room I was feeling happy, promised myself I would take a better care of my teeth, will never eat anything which hurts my teeth. But as they say, those who do not know or forget the history are bound to repeat it. Two years later in Bangalore the crown broke from one of its side while eating in office. I was in same state of mind as I was in two years back, worried and cursing all dentists in the world. And once again I began my search for a good(honest by luck) dentist in Bangalore around IndiraNagar. This new encounter reminded me of one famous Buddhist quote, later.

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn’t nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.

In Pictures Making Of A Mahatma

This page contains six photographs or our beloved Rahulji..

 

 

Image courtesy : Internet , thanks to everybody.

                                                                                                                                 

Tryst with Free Gift Vouchers

You got a free gift voucher from someone, which can be a meal coupon of KFC, for BJN group restaurants or it can be a shopping voucher for Coma, Copper's Stop or Adibas, Rebuke etc and now its expiry date is near , you want to encash it asap so you are worried and impatient.

If it’s a pure shopping voucher than it’s no problem, you can visit the respective shop, do some window shopping and then quickly go to the billing area and ask one of them silently if they are accepting. IF they say yes, then its great else you do some more window shopping chill inside their AC facility and go home. You can check in somewhere else in a different store. The more worth the voucher carries the more worried you are but higher chances that you will surely encash it.

Real problem is with gift vouchers of eateries like KFC & BJN or may be Leela group hotels. We used to get BJN group coupons worth 3000RS every year in my previous company. It used to have a six month validity period, during which you can go any BJN group hotel in India. I've used them in Bangalore & Gurgaon both. I always though it’s better to first check with the waiters or billing guys if they are accepting them and be cool. Otherwise if it comes as a surprise once you finish your free meal that coupons are not being accepted, suddenly the taste vanishes away, you hate that label and food and promise to yourself that you will never visit the place or palace again.

You check right away as you enter the restaurant, are they accepting your  vouchers. If the answer is NO, they are not accepting or they accept them only in happy hours OR only on weekdays OR not acceptable in this outlet Sir. You feel disgusted, sidelined. And the difficulty is, you just suddenly cannot leave the place like this, leaving BJN, KFC (Leela palace in some cases) or such places  without eating feels bad, humiliated , compromised and sometimes insulted. By now you had already decided to eat so much in free, your tongue takes over your mind. You entered with your wife or gf and now you are leaving so quickly, shame, what will he/she think ? So why not just sit here for few god damn minutes, order the least priced item may be just a fruit juice or cold drinks and come out of the place. And while I hate sipping that 250RS/glass colored soda water mixed juice I am  thinking, I would have rather bought 4 KG apples than this fugazy thing.

If they say YES, you are relaxed, you feel valued , confident  and worthy in your eyes, who doesn’t like free meals with friends. Then this waiter shows you a place for two to sit right near that big flower pot. He brings the menu and then places your order on the table. While eating you think, why did waiter made you sit at this corner, that too near this big flower pot and so close to gate ? I think the AC is not working. Is the quantity very less than regular order ? A trainee cook/chef must have cooked it . Is he treating us differently than those who are shelling their own dough? What was the waiter talking to that other waiter looking towards us ? Was he telling him that we came because we have free vouchers? Oh do I know this person sitting with his family on this next table ? OMG he too is from my office from the “KingNature” building, damn it looks like everyone from our office is here today. These waiters must be laughing at us. And at billing, you are cursing them in your heart when they don’t return the remaining 176 RS*.

*Terms & Conditions: Not exchangeable for Cash. KFFC/BBJN will be responsible for the humiliation  and insult while encashing these.

FITNESS : Run For A Better Life

This post is about thinking and taking action to lose weight and gaining fitness of your life time. It’s my second on weight loss and a serious one, earlier was a fun remark(written with some humor). I now have enough evidence to prove that there is no shortcut to lose extra body fat, at the same time it is not at all difficult as they show in TV programs, advertisements and in various magazines. The best and perfect way I found is simply by running early morning.

Flashback:

I was a sporty person till some 4 years back, before actually moving to Bangalore; I weighted around 72kgs back then. Blame it on the regular ordering of pizzas and biryani in office and mostly eating outside every day. I gained 8 kgs. My dream of having six pack abs shattered with those ever growing six pack flab around my abs. During photo clicks I was breathing in to hold my extra flabs in, Slowly I stopped tucking shirt into my jeans and then came the era of “L” sized T-shirts, even in office, this added more butter into the fat, I mean into the fire, it affected adversely. The fat around the waist grew even more rapidly under the loose T shirts, my chin up count dropped to 2 from 15(it used to be once, in single stretch). In climbing my 2nd floor stairs I was feeling short of breath , my heart rate would go up and worst of all when someone labeled me "Ram Kapoor" , holy cow. Never do this, never buy anything from TeleChopping networks, like a sauna belt , tablets , powder , morning walker etc. that’s wastage of time and money.

Three months back:

उद्यमेन हि सिध्यन्ति कार्याणि न मनोरथैः ।
न हि सुप्तस्य सिंहस्य प्रविशन्ति मुखे मृगाः ।

Only by taking efforts and hard work any work can be accomplished not by just wishing. Prey (animals) never enters inside a sleeping lion's mouth. The mighty king lion has to hunt for his food, and in his hunt he runs a lot and loses fats, never mind. I took this Sanskrit shloka seriously and decided to run every day. Swimming was another option but you cannot swim every day, Gym has its own risks and time investment. The best and easiest and accessible of all is running on road, jungle, sand, soil, early morning. Initially it could be painful and exhausting but it will be fun when you do it regularly.

Prerequisites And Clear Motives :

Strong will power, to lose your extra body weight: You can live whole life with few or many extra kilos, but remember the law of conservation of happiness the total amount of happiness is constant. You need to decide you want to live longer with less tasty food or a shorter life up to 40 with all yummy buttery delicious oily and deep fried foods. Because once you doctor says you have a high cholesterol level, you cannot eat anything tasty,life ends there.

Strong will power, to get fitness of your life: Same as above, you can maintain a normal looking Uncle or Aunty ji type bodies and look whole life , but don’t you think life is a one time opportunity, don’t you want to look fit, lean and active. I don’t know if running can cure dark circles too.

Strong will power, to improve your health: Same as above, you can keep catching cough, fever, cold, back ache, headache, knees ache etc whole life. But don’t you think you should work on improving your stamina, immunity and resistivity to common illnesses,by hard work. I bet, if you start running even in winters even in fogs,rains, you won’t catch cold (unless you are allergic to so many things), I don't.

And lastly

Strong will power to wake up early morning. Early because there is less pollution on Indian roads around 5AM. To get up early you must sleep early and take dinner early as well, so you are already coming into routine. Who doesn’t like to sleep whole day on a weekday or especially on a weekend, I guess those who want to be fit. Stop watching TV in nights, preferably sell you TV. TV is your biggest enemy at times, it burns your precious time always and destroys creativity.

Amazing Benefits:

Weight-loss: When you run, almost every body part moves, limbs, shoulders, abdomen, back, neck, waist everything, this stretches whole body, all this needs more energy so body burns your stored fats, Specially running early morning on an empty stomach triggers your metabolism early plus as you are on empty stomach body gets only stored fats to burn from various zones. This further lowers the blood sugar and cholesterol levels and so it reduces the risk of diabetes as well. Also if you have a poor appetite, running will improve your appetite as well. But it doesn’t mean you start eating a lot, prepare a diet plan.

Running definitely helps in building strong active bones and strengthen the muscles, tendons and ligaments in legs, calf, thighs, arms shoulders and abdomen. As the doctors say, while running the muscles cartilages and everything in our limbs, hips, knees, waist, abdomen and ankles compress and expand which pumps in more oxygen and that’s helps them in staying healthy. Without running or exercising bone cells, muscles and cartilage cells become inactive and gradually weak. 

Running also increases bone density, which keeps off osteoporosis away. 

With regular running you will gain more control on your body parts, actions and stability whether you walk or sit. So you improve yous reflexes in your movements (see, like Spiderman) , which makes you less susceptible to sudden sprains and strains. Remember your school days when you could bend anywhere and could tie your shoelaces.

Improve your cardiovascular fitness: Running helps in lowering of blood pressure by maintaining the elasticity in the arteries, really? yes, arteries are the blood vessels which carry oxygenated blood from heart to the whole body. While we run, we burn more energy, so body needs more oxygen, so arteries carry more oxygenated blood at a much higher rate. For this they expand and contract more rapidly than usually, and this keeps them working and elastic always and lowers the body blood pressure low. This reduces any possibility of developing any blockage in the arteries. 

If arteries are clogged or have any blockage the risk of heart disease and stroke increases. Now, its a common sense, if your arteries are well open then the blood will flow smoothly, the heart doesn’t have to work hard to pump the blood. For details please visit carotidarteryblockage.net  & livestrong.com

Healthy Heart: Running strengthens heart muscles, increases your blood circulation capacity and so once again it prevents you from heart attacks. The heart in an inactive person beats more than that of a runner or an athlete. Because an athlete's heart can pump more blood in each beat, because its an strong heart. 

Extra information, the average resting heart rate in adults is 60-90 bpm (beats per minute), however regular athletes have resting heart rates below than 60. (From Wikipedia) Miguel Indurain, a Spanish cyclist and five times Tour de France winner, had a resting heart rate of 28 beats per minute, one of the lowest ever recorded in a healthy human. I am not saying become Miguel or Lance Armstrong, but keep your heart healthy, the cardio system efficient and strong, just by normal running. 

You don’t even have to go for calculating your heart rates, unless you are planning to become a professional and keep a check on your performance improvement. In that case “Male Maximum Heart Rate = 214 - (0.8*age) and Female Maximum Heart Rate= 209 - (0.7*age). Never go above 90% of your MHR.

Improve Breathing and Lungs Capacity: Obviously running improves our lungs capacity, during running we inhale more air (oxygen) than usual; so we breathe faster which inflates lungs more and so keeps them strong powerful and fully utilized. As per Yoga Guru Baba “Ramdev” most of us don’t even know how to breathe correctly, and he is so correct. While running remember to breath from both your  nose and mouth together, this is the correct way.

Running slows down the aging process. Definitely, with the above mentioned benefits, anybody who has healthy heart, lungs, strong bones and muscles etc will age slowly. With running you will sleep better and earlier, you won’t struggle for it. I sometimes felt sleepy in office though. I bet running bring glow to face and reduces dark circles as well.

Great Feeling And Mental Relax: As you finish your everyday’s early morning run you feel great, you feel like a winner even if you are tired then, but you think of next day’s run. Definitely you feel free and separated from your daily life’s madness and office work. You think only about yourself. I feel the same.

There are many more other direct and indirect benefits associated to running, these are the once I have discovered in past 3 months. If you have other benefits which I didn't mention, please do share, you are most welcome in the comments section.


Who can Run:
Any human being from any age group, who can who can walk, can initially jog and then later start running for shorter distances and then to go up to any extent I mean distance. 

But remember everyone’s body is different so please know your limits, gradually, slowly increase your targets.

How to Run:
Start with stretching of Legs, Arms, bend and move you backbone left and right , but slowly , for two minutes.
Start with a slow walk, then jog for 10 minutes and then increase your pace. You can go up to 8 km/hr, that's  is a good speed. I found it the best and less tiring. 

What to wear & Other Stuff:

Wear anything initially whatever you feel is comfortable, night suit, Jeans, Pajama, I have seen people running in lungis J etc.

Once you are a regular runner and start liking your new passion, then invests on better branded stuffs, on shorts, Track Pants, Capris, 3/4th, Running Tights , T-shirts , full, half or sleeve less jackets. Running tights for sure reduces muscle cramps and helps with chaffing in long run. Believe it or not stylish running apparel is definitely a motivating factor, I felt it. 

I liked this site lifemojo.com , buy online, they offer great discounts and free home deliveries in Bangalore and in big cities. I have used it twice and found it cool. Browse internet for tips, what's good and bad on apparels, there are millions of suggestions waiting for you.

Buy a pair of branded comfortable running shoes and comfortable socks, right running shoes is a most important factor for ankle and sudden foot sprain. Browse web for tips, there are plenty of suggestions in various sites.

Don’t forget to carry a light MP3 player with you, music and songs again are a great pain killer, you don’t feel alone and tired and at the same time you don’t think about the pain. Last month I bought an iPod shuffle, it’s great, light and perfect for running.

Carry ½ liter of water bottle, drink two sips after every half kms, I do this and don’t feel my throat getting dried of excessive inhaling and exhaling. 

I prefer running outside early morning (5am to 6am) in open air instead of running on a treadmill in gym.

Disclaimer:

At the end, my suggestion is to try running at least 5 times a week as per your strengths and body limits, browse internet there are many forums where people (especially from EU and US) share their experiences and suggestions. The disclaimer part: Don’t forget to consult your physician before you start running if you think you need to take special care and you are not comfortable. Also this write up is just for information purposes for personal education only, please don’t use this for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. :)

~bd


P.S. I lost 5 kg in 2 months by simply running

In the name of Tommy

..many of us are against these road side beggars; I too honestly just hate them, especially young beggars, the commonly found pregnant female beggars at traffic signals, the ones with empty milk bottles begging for milk for their always hanging baby , the young men/beggars dressed in black attire found on Saturday’s, the self proclaimed agents of Shani Dev (the god).

But something not very strange, I saw an hour ago, it was one of those disparities from our hollow, hypocrite Indian society. It’s no big deal but that was the female beggar with a weak kid falling/rolling everywhere outside this ‘Veterinary Clinic’ near my room, several other people with their foreign, elite breed dogs were waiting for their/dog’s turn. I on my cycle was thinking whose days it is dog’s, veterinary doctor’s, dog owner's or poor beggar’s. She was begging and crying lamely “Please give a rupee in the name of your Tommy.”

Wow "Two Extra Hours" , Everyday

Wow!! That sounds interesting if I am getting two extra hours every day, but preferably in the evening. I really do not need my personal extra hours during office, to be honest :). (......thinking ...in all my 7 years of work, I have worked in IT and for programming which at times looks like a work done for the virtual world, is this a working life ? ).

Evening teasers: 

1 extra hour in every round

After office, I reach my room mostly between 7:00 and 7:30 PM, which means I've donated my life’s 1.5 important hours to the wild traffic, undisciplined fellow country mates, reluctant traffic signals and adamant traffic police. The EXTRA two hours if I’m getting will be the best-est gift from surf excel, actually from traffic police or from GOD. It takes another minimum 30 minutes in getting fresh, taking shower and  forgetting what happened in office and by the way it’s already 8 PM by now. Meanwhile my computer is already up, playing random songs loudly and my status at various web sites shows online, messages coming in and going out , same online news , scams, sports , inflation and by this time it’s already 8:30 PM boys and girls. Now, is the hour to worry about dinner and start for the hunt for the food, outside, yes I don’t cook at room, so be back at room asap earliest but not before 9:30 PM. That hotel/place where I eat mostly has a waiting queue , 1.2 billions innocently we are you know. And so now it’s only 2½ hours only, remaining for midnight. Just for you, I sleep by midnight, and sorry I forgot to mention about another 30 minutes for the phone calls, here and there. So my day now has only 2 hours remaining for me for everything. In this hectic madness if someone bestowing two extra hours upon me why are you so jealous ;) ( दो चुटकी एक्स्ट्रा घंटों की कीमत तुम क्या जानो रमेश babu )

Wishes:
If, I have two extra hours, I wish to go to gym /yoga /aerobics / badminton/swimming /or a dance class all of them every alternate day for 1 hour and mind you I am ignoring the time spent in reaching these places. Honestly its a dream within a dream. The second hour from my ‘Two’ hours quota again goes very selfishly, as I am joining a guitar class, guitar just looks stylish and easy to carry. How he will look if one wishes and carries a harmonium or “dholak” with him while travelling. A foreign language course in Spanish , Swedish or may be German.

There are still countless interesting rejoicing activities pending though I mentioned a few but very urgent ones and so as to surf my life better, excel in every direction and clean the stains of idleness from my past.The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.

~Bhupendra

P.S.  I’m really honored that you read my blog. As I am participating in a blog contest so  would really appreciate if you could take time to vote for my entry. Please click here at the link to : VOTE here.Written for the Surf Excel Matic #GetSmart Contest on IndiBlogger.And, please do leave your comments, so i can improve on my writing.

Thank you once again.

Spit Wide Open

Early Morning Puja :

Now a days, I wake up at 4:45 AM before the sunrise when it's still dark outside. I am outside my room tying my shoelaces. You please believe it takes a lot of courage to get up so early and run. Early because you want to avoid pollution and traffic. It was a calm morning until I heard little disturbance in morning breeze. I bent down from my 2nd floor's boundary wall and saw, down there a branch at neighbor’s gate shaking.The street light was there so I could clearly see everything. Suddenly from behind this flowery branch a woman, in early morning jogger’s getup, appeared fully. I don’t think she was aware of now being watched red handed plucking(stealing) red flowers, but my footstep sound did alert her. To scare her I clapped twice (clap clap) loudly and she started walking super-fast as you runaway after lighting the  wick of a fire cracker, for sure she got frightened. As a scarecrow I got surprised and amused seeing this woman running in her early 60s after her pre-dawn flower raids. And just between you and me I saw her face and know where she lives in Geetanjali layout.So what do such people(ladies) do with flowers, they either wear them in their hair or offer them to their beloved gods. Imagine this women preparing garlands of these stolen flowers, offering them in her morning worship (puja) to her bansiwale murlimanohar Lord Krishna. Imagine this old woman telling stories to her grand children about honesty, truthfulness and for sure benefits of getting up early. Anyways, below is what I hate the most.

Early Morning Cleansing Raga :

I filled my water bottle with water of course ,came down stairs and headed out for my morning run. It was partly cloudy and still dark. I am still walking , I start running once I cross this main road, stray dogs don't like people running so early. Oh, I see another early morning walker in our 3rd main road with his dog. I see this man often with his dog on the main road though. He is an active man, I guess is a member of RWA committee too. As I passed by him I turned back just to see his dog, shocked !!!! His dog was doing his thing in front of our main gate. Shit!!! I thought silently, what else can a tenant of a rented premises do ? I took the right turn and crossed the main road. This old @$$ is an educated uncivilized moron I was thinking.

So, finally I came to my favorite stretch, which is a road that enters into this small IT park. This small road is covered by thick canopy of trees, a perfect track for morning walkers and one of the reasons I still like to live nearby. People walk and run on both sides of this road which is okay before 7AM. Everything is good except the ugly thing you will not appreciate is when you see elderly public spiting on the sides, while others are still walking and running. Randomly they will take their time collect their phlegm in their throat and project it on their side, without caring if some one is coming from behind. I  understand after an age your lungs and throat continuously generate this sensation to shoot (phlegm) outside but this emission can be avoided at the walk roads. Why can’t they just spit little wide open where no one walks, may be over that deadly parthenium hysterophorus.(गाज़र घास )This habit in people kills me every morning. Do you think such people can ever really teach good habits, moral or social values to their little one. It might be a miniscule thing for them but explains everything of a certain way of living. And ironically then these uncivilized hypocrites bash India as a garbage.

~bd

Book Review : The Catcher in the Rye

I finished reading this book “The Catcher in the Rye” a 1951 novel by J. D. Salinger, a few months back and I wanted to share my views with others and in fact want to recommend reading it.Honestly this is one of the best timeless classic I have read recently. The book is all about a rich frustrated teenage rebellion who hates the false show off, forced customs and hypocrites in the society. Superb commentary by “JD Salinger” amazingly he touches the innocence and emotional side. The story is all about this teenage protagonist Holden, who doesn’t like schools knows that he is to be expelled from his school, leaves his school alone , spends a couple of days in New York where he meets various people, friends and goes though various experiences .

His conversation with his classmates , the hotel guy, his younger sister who he loves so much, his dead brother , the two nuns and with others are really amazing. At times you feel that you know him and his surroundings better than Holden, and for me that's the beauty. Though the book is set in early 1960's but it’s timeless, believe me you can experience yourself as the narrator. It definitely reminds you of your school days, classmates, teachers and people from your adulthood days. Another beauty in this book is, once you get hold of your copy , you will be addicted to finish it the same day , well you can do it just less than two hundred pages.

While I am highly recommending you to read this book, just now I opened a random page and picked these lines for you…… "He was even more depressing than the room was. He was one of those bald guys that comb all their hair over from the side to cover up the baldness. I’d rather be bald than do that."

I shared my thoughts about this book with one of my very good American friend (x colleague),as per him “The Catcher in the Rye” is for sure a timeless classic, one of top hundred controversial book of 20th century, was required reading for many students at one time or another in American schools”

I am sure you will enjoy reading this book.
                                                                                                                                                

~bd

Please leave your comments, if you find this post helpful or if you liked the book later or you can click on this  +1 Google's button.

चर्बी : उर्जा का वैकल्पिक स्रोत

Fats : Alternative Source of Energy :

मोटापा अब अभिशाप नहीं ! स्वास्थ, खेल, श्रम और बिजली मंत्रालयों के मिलेजुले प्रयासों  फलस्वरूप अब शहरी मोटे लोगो के लिए एक अच्छी खबर है | सनद रहे पिछली जनगणना के मुताबिक देश में शहरों में मोटे लोगो की संख्या में लगातार वृद्धी हुई है और इसके आगे भी यूँ ही बढने के आसार हैं ! इसका मुख्य कारण निज जीवन में ज्यादा मशीनी उपभोग , दिनरात  टेलीविजन पे सीरियल्स देखना जो महिलाओं को "बड़े अच्छे लगते हैं" , सुबह शाम फास्ट फ़ूड का सेवन और शारीरिक श्रम से दूर होना हैं | जहाँ कभी लोग सुबह मीलो मार्निंग वाक या साईकिल चलाया करते थे वहीँ लोग आज अपने मुहल्ले के पार्क तक बाईक या कार से जाते हैं ! जो महिलाये कभी घर का झाड़ू पोछा ,साफ़ सफाई , खाना बनाना , कपडे धोना , इत्यादि खुद ही किया करती थी वहीँ आज इनकी वाशिंग मशीन और वक्युम क्लीनर इस्तेमाल करने के लिए भी मेड होती हैं ! जो पुरुष कभी छिप-छिपा कर घर इत्यादि का काम किया कर लिया करते थे वो आज इन्टरनेट ,फेसबुक ट्विटर पर खुल कर टाइम ख़राब करते हैं ! चार मंजिला मकानों में बिना लिफ्ट के जीना किसी सामाजिक शर्म से कम नहीं , किराने वाले आज कल  50 रुपए से कम का सामान भी घर पे फ्री होम डिलेवरी करते हैं जिससे लोगो का अपने पैरो से चलना फिरना और भी कम हो  गया है ! जी हाँ  गये वो दिन जब हमारी किताबो में इश्वर चन्द्र विद्यासागर लिखित "अपना कम स्वयम करें " जैसे पाठ हुवे थे |

M I T ( मुरैना इंस्टिट्यूट आफ टेकनोलोजी ) और सरकार की एक संयुक्त शोधकर्ता टीम ने पाया की मोटे और निहायती  आलसी लोग इक्कीसवी सदी के असली उर्जा स्रोत होंगे ! इसका विचार एक युवा को उस समय किल्क हुआ जब उसने अपने आफिस के ज़िम में एक मोटे व्यक्ति को ट्रेड मिल पर चलते हुवे देखा , अचानक बिजली गुल हो जाने पर वो बिजली चालित ट्रेड मिल की बेल्ट रुक गयी और मोटा सोना बेल्ट पहने व्यक्ति गिल्ट से भरा यूँ ही रुक गया  ! बस यही  क्षण उस युवा द्रष्टा (वैज्ञानिक) के यूरेका पल थे !  आँखों ही आँखों में युवा ने मोटे व्यक्ति को धन्यवाद किया और सांतवना देकर वहां से सीधे मेरठ की  बस पकड़ कर निकल लिया और वहां जाकर अपना पेपर प्रस्तुत किया !

इसके बाद शोधकर्ताओं ने  लगभग पॉँच हज़ार से ज़्यादा मोटे लोगो पर शोध में पाया कि लोगो में टनों चर्बी जमी है जो उर्जा का ही एक अन्य ठोस रूप है , जिसको शोधित कर विद्युत उर्जा में परिवर्तित किया जा सकता है ! उन्होने prototype के लिए  ट्रेड मिल और  ज़िम की स्थिर साईकिल (stationary cycles) को चुना , इन पर थोड़े बदलाव के बाद मोटर की जगह डायनामो लगा दिए गए ,अब चलाये जाने पर इनसे विद्युत उत्पादन निश्चित ही संभव था ! अनुमान से अधिक उत्पादन होने पर शोधकर्ताओं में उल्लास था , आनन् फानन में सरकार ने सभी निजी और सरकारी स्पोर्ट्स कोम्प्लेक्सेस , जिमो में इसी तरेह के बदलावों की मंजूरी दे दी है  | सिर्फ बडे शहरों के मोटे लोगो से सरकार हजारो मेगा वाट बिजली उत्पादन का अनुमान लगा रही है ! मोटे लोगो द्वारा ट्रेड मिल , साइकिलिंग और जम्पिंग से बिजली उत्पादन को मानवाधिकार आयोग की हरी झंडी मिलना लगभग तय है | स्वास्थ्य और श्रम विभाग पहले ही उत्साहित हैं !  जहाँ आज चारो तरफ परमाणु सयंत्रो(Nuclear plants) का घोर विरोध हो रहा है इस प्रकार के छोटे Fatty(चर्बी) उर्जा संयंत्र  इस दिशा में काफी किफायती साबित होंगे  ऐसा मानना है सबका |  

सरकार संसद के उमसकालीन सत्र में इसी सम्बंधित एक बिल पर विचार कर रही है जिसमे इस प्रकार उत्पादित बिजली के दाम , जिमो को उपकरणों की खरीद फरोख्त में सब्सिडी , प्रति यूनिट बिजली उत्पादन में मोटे लोगो की कमीशन , पतले हो जाने के बाद राष्ट्र सेवा मेडल , मोटे आलसी  स्वयंसेवक  छात्रों को स्कालरशिप , मोटे  सरकारी बाबुओं  और मोटी तोंद वाले पुलिस वालो को पतला होने पर प्रोमोशन गारंटी , जातिय आरक्षण व् अन्य लाभ !   बिलकुल सही समझा , अगर आप काफी खा-पी कर काफी मोटे और बेहद आलसी हो चुके हो और इस आत्म ग्लानी में जी  रहे हो  कि आपका ये सिक्स फ्लेब(six flab) शरीर अब किसी भी काम का नहीं तो आपको ज़रा-भी शर्मिंदा और घबराने की जरुरत नहीं  आप विद्युत उर्जा निर्माण (electric power generation ) में नव भारत को सहयोग दे सकते हैं  इससे पहले सरकार मोटे और आलसी लोगो की धर पकड़ शुरू करे आज ही अपने निकटतम जिम से अधिक जानकारी प्राप्त करे !

अभी अभी:  इस बारे में टीम अन्ना का कहना है सबसे पहले ऐसी मशीने संसद भवन में लगनी चाहियें ! हमारे देश की काफी उर्जा  हमारे  नेताओं के शरीरो में निहित है जिनमे अधिकतर का बी ऍम आई  ३०  के आसपास है ! ऐसे सब उर्जावान लोग लोकउर्जापाल बिल के नीचे आने चाहियें !


~ bd

Disclaimer:

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real experiences , real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Its just a wild imagination.

Best Practices : More effective ways to utilize office hours

....remember Ramesh’s  and Suresh’s work life in office? Here are some more secretes from Ramesh’s armory. These are well tested best practices which can be followed in office , specially if you are in IT or have access to basic amenities like computer, printer, mail room, canteen, phone, etc. For sure these gems will help you in utilizing your time efficiently and in loving what you do at work.

Don't you think it’s hilarious people like Suresh, never understand that there are so many ways to appear as a busiest hard worker on earth,  to impress your bosses without degrading personal health, personal life and personal values.And there is another category of flamboyant , multi threaded people like Ramesh who do so many thing but except work and live happy. What is acceptable or unacceptable at workplace, you got to decide this. Below is what I found from Ramesh’s.

By virtue of Technology:

• Do your computer's hard disks defragmentation  often.

• Install any of your preferred tool software which takes lots of time in installation and configuration. Earn some moments (hours) to relax.

• Run Windows/Office update every morning, possibly your machine/applications will not work as expected after that for the first time.

• Open some IT tickets, take backup of outlook/lotus notes  etc (Ask for a new keyboard, mouse, best is OS reinstall)

• Forward chain emails to your friends and their friends wait for their replies.  

• Play computer games over LAN.

• Pay all your bills online from office, credit card, Amex , phone bill, property tax , broadband etc. then take out printout of all such bills and their online receipts.

• Book Railways, Bus and Air ticket from office. You get the benefit of faster Internet connection and you save your precious time.

• Open DMAT account and do online trading during peak trading hours.

• Clean mouse’s base with any sharp object, for sure it will have some dust stuck to its base, and this friction is restricting your free movements.

• Not for forget Facebook , Google+ , Youtube , online news etc..

By virtue of IPR :

• Talk about the traffic jam at outer Ring-road or any such road near your office.

• Discuss new upcoming apartment project by new builders in Bangalore or India or may be in US.

• Design logo for your team’s T-shirt for some outbound activity, order T shirts and check your T-shirt sizes in office trial room. 

• Participate in every extracurricular activity in office.

• Starting Thursday, start planning for your weekend travel and engagements. Use office phone.

• Discuss your child’s progress over phone with your wife, use office phone.

• Talk to your local relatives from office phone.

• Use office Gym during office hours and stay healthy.

• Go to the farthest located hospital for checkup, during office time.

• Call LIC, Bank, and Investment planning agents and similar people like them in office during office hours and understand their policies.

• Complaint against food, transport , facilities, services , finance, HR , security and other support departments.

• Go outside for lunch everyday , call it team building activity.

• Receive posts , couriers , parcels at office address.

• Get your wrist injured while arm wrestling with another colleague (I met one of my old colleague last week, who had his right wrist wrapped in a brown colored bandage ).

Above is for sure not the complete list, there are definitely other useful keys. On behalf of Ramesh, thanks in advance if you share your observations and add them in the comments section below.  

~bd

Disclaimer:

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real experiences , real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Its just a wild imagination.


cartoons:

                                                        

Best Practices : Leaving Early Today

Ramesh and Suresh work in different projects in the same company. Ramesh is cheerful, though have health related issues always; but still enjoying his life, personal and professional both to the fullest.  Suresh on the other side is in a different project is good too, but as if, he is not enjoying life to its fullest. He takes useless things seriously and ignores the real ones. Ramesh falls sick very often but recovers very soon, Suresh never falls sick. He never takes any sick leave. Ramesh by the way, exhausts his quota of sick leaves in the very first quarter of the year itself , poor cheerful Ramesh. Ramesh wears spectacles, his eyes have power, though his eye sight is weak. Suresh’s eyes are 6/6, meaning, his optical sight is perfect but his logical sight not, it seems.  He cannot foresee things. So does he have dark circles too? Yes. 

Then what’s that keeping Ramesh so happy and Suresh so grumpy in office and at home, no apparent tangible differences. But there some are in reality.

Actually Ramesh spends comparatively 30% less time in office then Suresh each day. A behavioral study done over Ramesh and Suresh suggests that, this extra time spent by Suresh in the office was primary reason keeping Ramesh so happy ever youthful, even though Ramesh and Suresh are completely unrelated subjects. Ramesh and Suresh don’t even know each other’s existence. Key is -> every day , Ramesh's subconscious mind knows that it spent around 3 hours less time in office. So its his over conscious mind, makes sure that today he should behave very alert and smart in office. This alertness, asking obvious questions repeatedly attitude towards the boss made Ramesh a very smart and favored employee. On the similar lines, Suresh too gets rewarded every evening for his hard work but by new additional work, which is even harder. Ramesh knows reward of hard work is more hard work. And you think as if only Suresh gets the damn easy work. So now any help for Suresh ? The remote study done over Ramesh surprised everyone with his various foolproof tricks stored in his subconscious closet. It helped him lately in enjoying the evening life at home. The crux is in ,leave office early and show up late next morning without getting caught ever. So here are the tricks.

When leaving Office early:

 by virtue of arranged callbacks:

By 3:00 pm sms your wife to call you back right in the middle of some meeting. You act as there is something really very urgent that needs your presence at home.If your wife calls at your colleague's cell phone , asking for you and mentions that your phone is not reachable, is even better. This will add more weight in your dear wife’s emergency call. Your colleagues would surely feel that it’s a real life emergency. It cannot surely be planned. 

SMS your wife to switch off her phone or to take out the battery. So her phone will not be reachable. And you in office become worried and tensed, because your wife is not picking up the phone. Tell your boss that you had a little argument last night and this will scare your boss too.And he will call his wife too. For a double check ask your boss to keep dialing your wife’s phone number. While everyone trying your wife's number you leave for the day. Create other tricks with slight variations in objects and their roles.  

by virtue of sickness/illness

1.   Tell you are still sick, worked whole night for office from home; add you had a bad weekend. Cough loudly (make sure you are heard), sneeze loudly , ask your colleagues to touch your forehead if you have fever, rub your eyes till red color. Keep some medicines, cough syrup bottle, even old; empty ones, will give the desired look, on your desk, set all the environment variables.

2.     Mother in law fell in bathroom; so need to repair the bathroom and her to take to doctor for consultation this evening.

3.    Child has to get vaccination and wife is sick, double emotional attack.(no one counts vaccination terms so solid one.)

4.      You/your wife/kid/mother have Toothache, need to visit the dentist, root canal, tooth extraction (ugh)

5.    Going to receive ever sick mother- in- law at airport and then have hospital visit in evening. In one day advance discuss how your boss’s mother-in law is. This will concrete your claim and set environment.

6.     Call your teammates for the 3:00 pm tea at the cafeteria, suddenly a planned phone call from your sick wife and you give poor looks , run away asap from your team tea party; tell them while you are running  to tell the boss that your wife is sick and you left for the hospital/home/~movie.

7.    As you participated in corporate sports day, you still have problems with knee/ankle/toe /elbow/ back; so you need to go for X-Ray (Ouch)  MRI (o,God).  Now this one needs advance planning, walk lame in office, and tell everyone how you won the consolation prize in race last month and got injured.   Wear an extremely large visible bandage, apply some turmeric paste, and paint it yellow.            

      Don’t forget to spray smelly pungent ointment over it, allow every nose to smell your injured ankle. 

by virtue of Other errands...

1. Mason/Electrician/Painter/ LPG gas wala /Welder/Passport verification Officer/LIC agent/ Plumber/ coming in to look at problem in bathroom/kitchen/bedroom/store/etc....

2.  Need to pick Car/bike/Cycle from servicing workshop; otherwise you will come late tomorrow.

Remember in all of the above categories, don’t forget to make a promise to your boss that if possible you will be back in an hour or so, else you will check the mails from home…late night.  

When coming oFFicE late? 

1.     Bangalore/Noida/Delhi/Mumbai traffic sucks, explain how worse at one particular signal it was, it took you around 45 minutes to cross that and then traffic police stopped you.

2.    No water since last night in your apartment. Explain in detail, discuss kaveri river water  issue as well right there.

3.     You have motions, and was planning to take leave but still came to office (your boss will be happy) run to the restroom a few times every thirty minutes (but make sure you are seen by your boss) , be so lame that your boss offers you to drop at home, that’s a winner.

4.      Parents- Teacher’s meeting happened (every week) at this school.

5.      Electricity bill/Phone bill/Cable/Gas/Water/BBMP/Income Tax/Road Tax/Insurance/ etc took your time, then blame the large part of it on the traffic wherever you can.

6.      Maid didn’t show up today, wife not well, so you cooked breakfast and feed the kids.

7.    Theft incident took place in your apartment, you chased the thief till around 10K, explain that you were about to catch him but the cramp in your ankle (ouch), looks like you will leave early today.

8.      Someone snatched your wallet which had ATM card, credit card driving license etc, you chased him and got the wallet back.

9.      Snake or crocodile baby found in apartment’s kid’s park (it might be an earthworm or a lizard in reality) but you need to make up a story, get the hell out of your colleagues in the office, create an NGeo episode.

Some other good to follow secrets are…

1.   Always keep few files/folders/heavy books, manuals, research papers etc on your desk, around your desktop, it gives your desk a busy appearance, your co-workers at a first glance feel that you are already in and somewhere around , gone for break or something. 

2.   The moment you arrive in office, before login into your desktop, jump to your colleague’s desk, start any random discussion about the project as if you were thinking it whole night, and you are late because of the complexities in the implementation.

3.   Never ever feel sorry, ashamed and give clarifications unless you are asked for coming late.

4.  Always keep an extra jacket, sweater in office, hang it on the back of your chair as if you are already around and have just gone for coffee, or leave an old bag at desk, fill it with some useless papers. It means you have still not gone, you are around.

5.   Keep the status of your office communicator either always away/available/invisible/do not disturb. This won’t give others any hints about your actual state. If you’ve already left early, people will think you are coming back. Never ever send emails that you are leaving early most important.

There can exist many more such useful guidelines which have helped needy people in all situations, Its your comfort to choose one either like Ramesh or Suresh. But remember the quote “Leaving work early is like a present that you can open again and again”….. Anonymous

Please leave your comments (good oR bad ) else you can click on this Google's  +1  button , below.

~bd

Disclaimer & Thanks :Names are really fictitious; these two names are one of those with whom I never worked in past 7 years, still all characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, experiences, living or dead is purely coincidental. images courtesy of: from cartoonstock.com , thanks a lot.

Who's Devil’s Advocate

Nayantara Sehgal was Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit’s daughter. Vijay Lakshmi Pandit was sister of Jawaharlal Nehru. Not to frustrate you more, Nayantara Sehgal was actually P. N. Thapar's sister in law too. PN Thapar was the Chief of Army Staff of the Indian army in early 60’s. Please wait, PN Thapar was father of Karan Thapar who studied in Cambridge and Oxford . Now do you see a relation emerging between Rahul Gandhi and Karan Thapar. Arey they are a family and they are working together for India :) so when was the last time you saw Rahul in KT's devil's court :) or debating on TV in any grilling TV interview ? Never mind he is being projected as a to be PM  sine 2014. God bless the Prince...

~bd

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pran_Nath_Thapar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karan_Thapar